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Do you ever wonder if God feels disgusted with you? In the midst of some major mess up, do you think that perhaps you have gotten on God’s last nerve? I have to admit that sometimes I do and recently I have experienced situations where the disgust factor I felt toward myself was extremely high. Yet again, as always, my tongue or pen got me in situations where I didn’t exhibit Christ-like behavior. The realization of what I said or did that came after the events caused me to feel disgusted with myself. Have you been there? Can you relate?
Before I get any further into this essay, let me state without reservation that I know full well that God does NOT get disgusted with any of His children. His heart may be hurt by our actions or our words, but He does not feel disgust or revulsion toward any of those who are covered by the blood of Jesus. His love and affection toward us are much deeper than we can ever fathom.
That, however, does not keep the enemy of our souls from trying to convince us that we are disgusting to God. Revelation 12: 10 tells us that the “accuser of our brothers, who accuses them before our God day and night, has been hurled down.”
Satan, the accuser of the brothers and sisters, knows precisely which of us are most likely to fall for the old ‘God is disgusted with you because you can’t ever seem to get things right’ trick. Those of us who are perfectionists fall for this easily, as do those who have low self esteem, such as those who have been abused, addicted or neglected.
What is Satan’s motivation? He knows his time is short and he cannot take our eternal salvation away from us. He can, however, cause us to doubt that God is willing to consistently offer grace and forgiveness to anyone who asks for it. When we begin to doubt that God will offer us grace in spite of our mistakes and failures, then we begin to shy away from an intimate relationship with the Father because we don’t feel that He could ever desire our presence.
We are such a works-based, approval-addicted society that it is nearly impossible for many people to understand unconditional love and acceptance. We are so entrapped by the idea that God will love us more if we act better that we completely overlook the mercy and grace offered in a love relationship with Jesus Christ.
Thinking about this from a parent-child relationship standpoint will perhaps provide some clarification. Children are going to mess up. There is no way around it. They don’t always have good judgment (kind of like adults) and they make poor choices sometimes (very much like adults). The parent still loves them and they are still the parent’s child, despite the poor choices. The parent’s heart may be saddened by the choices the child makes, but the parent is not disgusted with the child to the point of abandoning the relationship.
Recently when I messed up twice in one day and said hurtful things to someone I love very much, I felt like the Lord must be so disgusted with me. I wish I could say that was the only time recently that I have messed up and been disgusted with myself but alas, it is not so. Each time, Satan feeds me the line that my tongue or pen make me unacceptable to God, and for a short time, I fall for it hook, line and sinker. It is only when I remember the love that God had, and still has, for His chosen people, Israel, that I am able to close my ears to the enemy’s lies and rest in the love that God has for me.
The Lord placed Zephaniah 3: 17 (NKJV) in front of me to remind me just how much He loves me, despite my failures and mistakes.
“The Lord your God in your midst, The Mighty One, will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you with His love; He will rejoice over you with singing!
Dear friend, the Lord sings over you with joy! What a beautiful picture of forgiveness and love. Bask in it, revel in it, listen as He sings over you.
