Are You Tired of Trying To Measure Up?
Dr. Denison says, “Counselors speak of an “idealized self,” the person we wish we were and want others to think we are. We all have such a “self” in our minds. We then spend our lives trying to live up to this impossible standard, or at the very least, convincing others that we have. We base our identity upon the success of our performance, or the quality of our possessions, or the extent of our popularity. We live our lives through the eyes of others, hoping that the headlines they write about us will be as positive as possible.”
He goes on to say, “Such a way of life is a recipe for disappointment and worse. We can never achieve the standard of perfection we seek to fulfill. Even if we do perform at the highest level for a day or an event, we immediately must start again when the next day comes. There’s always one more person to impress, one more product to sell, one more deal to close. We’re never enough, and we can never do enough.” All the while, our Father in heaven watches our frantic drivenness with a mixture of sadness and grief. His love for us is absolute and unconditional. He likes us and accepts us, failings and all. There is nothing we can do to make him love or like us any more or any less than he already does. And his opinion is the only one that will matter forever.”
It is my belief that at some point in our lives, all of us can identify with what Dr. Denison wrote about. We try to measure up to a standard that the world has set, be it financial, physical, material, or any other way. The key here is that the world has set the standard. Those of us who are the Type A’s are particularly susceptible to falling into this kind of behavior. We often feel that we have to do the best, be the best, and have the best of what the world has to offer.
Dr. Denison’s words brought back a flood of memories for me surrounding my years as an anorexic. I was never thin enough to suit the demon of physical beauty. This drive to be thin became a stronghold in my life like nothing I had ever experienced. In my early 20’s I weighed less than one hundred pounds, was eating 600 calories a day and was losing consciousness at least once a day. Yet, the mirror and my feelings told me that I was fat.
My purpose in writing this is not to talk about anorexia, but rather to talk about the Heavenly Father who rescued me out of this stronghold. He used a book by Jeff vanVonderen called “Tired of Trying to Measure Up” to begin the process of healing. This book is not about dealing with anorexia, but rather about how we need to live lives that seek to please only God and not the world. In his book, vanVonderen reminds us that God loves us and He is not just putting up with us. God wants to spend time with us and have us know Him fully. vanVonderen reminds his readers of Romans 5:6, 8 that tells us that God loved us just the way we were and sent Jesus to die for us long before we ever decided to live for Him. We didn’t have to clean up our act or make enough money or have the right clothes or right job or be thin enough for God to love us and accept us as His own. He took the initiative to seek a relationship with us by sending Jesus to die for us.
Colossians 3:12 reinforces this idea by telling us that we are “God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved.” It doesn’t say that we were chosen after we shaped up, cleaned up, or worked up, but that we were simply chosen by God to be His own.
If you are struggling with fitting into an image that the world has placed before you, I pray that these words will make you stop and ponder on the fact that God doesn’t want us trying to measure up to anything that the world puts in front of us. He only wants us to seek Him and allow our worth to be measured against what He did for us when He sent His only Son, Jesus Christ, to die for you and for me. God accepts us on the basis of the blood of Christ and not because we are thin enough or make enough money or wear the right clothes or have the right job or any other earthly reason. Dear friend, cease from the frenzy of trying to please the world. Rest in the unconditional love that God offers you. It truly is a love worth finding.
Journey with Anorexia – Post 1
Journey with Anorexia – Post 2
Journey with Anorexia – Post 3
Journey with Anorexia – Post 4
Journey with Anorexia – Post 5
