Frequently, it seems the Lord places me in the middle of His classroom and teaches me a few life lessons. There is no syllabus for the class. Rather He teaches by showing me heart defects that are hindering my relationship with him. That makes for some painful lessons, but I know they are for my good. Today’s post is actually a re-post from a few years ago, but the lessons are just as pertinent as they were then.
i am NOT better than you
God had another lesson for me while I was at work at the pharmacy last week. Almost without fail, a judgmental spirit and humility seem to be the areas where I need the most work. I am acutely aware that pride is a sin God hates, and I want so much to be humble. In fact, I pray for humility on a regular basis. It seems to be a prayer that God is more than willing to answer in my life.
In my job as a pharmacist, I am regularly confronted with people from all walks of life. Rich, poor, hard-working, lazy-as-dirt, tall, short, thin, obese, humble, proud, funny, mean-as-a-snake, takers, givers and anything else you can think of. On this particular day, I was filling prescriptions for a person who has long been known as quite a talented abuser of the medical system. I’m not being judgmental. The facts are the facts.
As I worked on the prescriptions for this man, I was not even aware of the depth of my heart attitude toward him. You might want to cover the ears of small children, because here is where the story becomes ugly and very transparent.
I felt superior to the man, and I judged him based on his past. I felt that I was better than him.
Ugh! There it is in all its reprehensible ugliness.
Because I had made, what seem to be on the surface, better life choices than this man, I felt superior to him. As I checked his prescriptions for accuracy, the Holy Spirit smacked me really hard and Jesus said,
“Leah, you know that his choices do not make me love him any less than I love you. You know that works or life choices are not what make you acceptable in my eyes. I died for him just like I died for you.”
Immediately I was aware of how deep these feelings of superiority over others who had not made good life choices ran in my heart. It was all could do to stay on my feet. I wanted to go face-to-the-floor before the Lord in repentance. Instead, as I worked, I cried out to the Lord in my heart, asking Him to forgive me, and change my heart attitude.
How could ugliness like that be so deeply embedded in my heart….a heart that longs to be totally sold out to Jesus? The truth is that all of us have ugly lurking in our heart at times. What we do with that ugly when the Holy Spirit shines a light on it is the important issue. As much as it hurts to lance a boil full of ugly sin like the one that was residing in my heart, when we give the Spirit free reign to deal with it, there is immediate relief. Healing begins, and MY heart is tendered toward the Lord and his children in new ways. The pain of recognizing the ugly is worth the gain of having my heart made clean so that it looks more like the heart of Jesus.
I want to encourage you to pray that most daring of prayers: Lord, show me the ugly in my heart.
Friend, do you regularly pray for the Lord to expose sin in your heart?
Has the Lord exposed sin in your life lately?
Were you faithful to deal with what the Holy Spirit showed you?
