Many months ago I featured the faith stories of several people here at the blog. Each was unique and compelling. Today I have the privilege of offering yet another compelling faith story.
Vicky Whyte lives in Northern Ireland. All she ever wanted in life was to get married, have kids, serve Jesus and love people. Just quietly and without too much excitement. In 2013, family life changed forever. Leah, the second eldest of their four children, was diagnosed with a rare genetic mutation and went through a bone marrow transplant. Nine months after her initial diagnosis, Leah developed a rare side effect of her treatment and died shortly after her 16th birthday. Devastated and heartbroken by her daughter’s death, Vicky has found that blogging helps her to trace the rainbows through the rain and see God’s hand in everything. Her favourite spare time activities are catching up with friends or getting lost in a good book. One of Vicky’s favorite quotes is “that there is no pit so deep but that God’s love is not deeper still.” – Corrie Ten Boom
You can find Vicky blogging at https://victoriawhyte.wordpress.com/
and visit her on Twitter @WhyteVictoria
Would you please make Vicky welcome here at LeahAdams.org
Romans 5:5 (NKJV)
“Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.”
My daughter, Leah, had a blood test on her fifteenth birthday that changed all of our lives forever. This was on the 31st December 2012 and it showed that her white cell count was dangerously low. She subsequently received a diagnosis of myelodysplasia and monosomy 7 caused by a rare GATA2 genetic mutation. She needed a bone marrow transplant.
Yet miraculously in the following months, Leah was able to live a relatively normal life. She attended school and church, went shopping, ate in restaurants, went to the cinema and travelled on public transport. She even went with the Girls Brigade for a weekend to an outdoor pursuit’s centre where she participated in every activity. By the summer of 2013, thousands of people were praying for Leah and I believed that prayer had created an invisible bubble of protection around her.
On Sunday 21st July 2013 we flew from Ireland to Bristol, where Leah was to receive her bone marrow transplant. My overriding emotions were hope and excitement. I saw this as primarily an adventure whereby Leah would receive the treatment that would save her life. I believed that the combination of the prayers of God’s people and the expertise in Bristol Children’s Hospital would be a winning combination.
The next day, as I pressed the buzzer for Leah and me to gain entry to the Bone Marrow Transplant Unit, Leah said to me “Mummy I don’t feel well.” This just about set the scene for things to come – whatever could go wrong did go wrong.
Within hours Leah was very seriously ill. Within a week Leah had five different bugs growing in her blood – abnormal ones that the doctors didn’t normally see in these circumstances, some were even resistant to antibiotics.
In those early weeks I wrote in my journal about feeling so isolated and so devastated. I wanted to go somewhere where I could cry and scream, or even run away from all this awfulness, but there was nowhere to go – I needed to stay and care for and comfort my daughter. I felt disappointed with God and abandoned by Him and I wrestled in my heart with all of those thoughts and emotions.
Do you know what was especially hard? It was looking at Leah and seeing in her face that she was wrestling in her heart with all of this too!
No matter what though, Leah always wanted me to read the Bible and pray with her. We struggled at times to hold onto hope, but somehow in the midst of it all, we still knew the source of true hope.
The Bible verse that Leah had chosen in June 2013 for the prayer cards that were printed for her by our church was Nehemiah 8:10
“For the joy of The Lord is your strength.”
Over the following months, Leah’s joy (and mine) was severely tested. Her bone marrow transplant was successful in curing her myelodysplasia and monosomy 7, but as complication followed complication, it took its toll on both her body and her mind.
It broke my heart to see my normally joyful, faith filled daughter, descend into the very depths of despair. How physical illness and the side effects of treatment can ravage the mind!
Eventually, as Leah’s physical health improved, her mental health also improved. Getting home to Ireland in November helped too. However, her life was far from normal.
Leah ~ 3 weeks before she died
It was only in ICU in January 2014, when facing death, that Leah’s peace and hope and joy were fully restored. The closer she came to death the more joyful and peaceful she became. Leah said that she wasn’t afraid to die. A few days before she died, Leah showed us the words of one of her favourite songs –
“One Thing Remains” by Jesus Culture –
In death, in life, I’m confident and
Covered by the power of Your great love
My debt is paid, there’s nothing that can
Separate my heart from Your great love…
Yes, the hope of healing left Leah and me disappointed, but not the hope of eternal life, not the hope of God’s love – there was no disappointment there. When I looked in Leah’s eyes in ICU in January 2014 I saw a different facial expression to the one that I had seen in those early weeks in Bristol. In January 2014, although on a ventilator and critically ill, Leah’s face radiated joy and serenity.
What about me? What about my joy and hope? I miss my daughter terribly and I yearn for her with all of my heart. However, I’m learning that joy and sorrow can coexist in my heart. Two Bible verses have become especially meaningful:
2 Corinthians 1:4 (NKJV)
“ who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.”
Isaiah 45:3 (NKJV)
“ I will give you the treasures of darkness And hidden riches of secret places, That you may know that I, the Lord, Who call you by your name, Am the God of Israel.”
Do you have a story of faith that you would like to share here. It would be my honor to have you as a guest contributor at LeahAdams.org. If you are interested in sharing how Jesus is working in your life, please email me at [email protected].
