CHRISTMAS.
It’s the most wonderful time of the year.
For most people.
But not for me. In fact, Christmas is one of the most stressful times of the year for me. I suppose the last time I really enjoyed Christmas was when I was a teenager.
It has been several years since I put up a Christmas tree. I don’t particularly enjoy shopping any time of the year and the thought of having to go into the mall in December nearly causes a panic attack. My stress level rises at the thought of having to buy gifts for people because I usually have no idea what the person really wants or needs. And let’s not even talk about the fact that I have to have overnight company during the holidays. Eeekkk!! The truth is I just want the Christmas season to pass quickly so life will get back to normal.
Is this more transparency and honesty than you can handle? If so, I’m sorry, but I bet there are more out there that feel this way than just me. In fact, I know there are.
I heard my sister tell our hairdresser this weekend that she feels the same way I do about Christmas. She has children and so she does all the traditional Christmas activities in spite of the fact she doesn’t particularly enjoy it. What in the world is wrong with us? Is it some sort of genetic defect in our family? I think not. Leslie and I had a wonderful childhood and Christmas was always an exciting time for us. Family home movies show the two of us excitedly running to the tree on Christmas morning to see what ‘Santa’ had brought.
In the past few days I have found myself pondering the ‘whys?’ of my feelings about Christmas. I don’t like feeling this way. I want to feel the happiness and excitement others feel at Christmas. But honestly, I am at a total loss as to how to conjure up the feelings.
I know the true meaning of Christmas and am so thankful Jesus came to this earth as a tiny baby; a baby born for the express purpose of dying on a cross to pay the penalty for my sin and disobedience. He did this so you and I could live in heaven with Him when we die. He did it so we could have His Spirit live within us to guide and direct us through this thing we call life. He did it because He loved us more than we can comprehend. THAT makes me joyful and happy.
I know all of this. I’m grateful for Jesus’ sacrifice. I just don’t enjoy Christmas.
I really want to change. I want to be excited about Christmas. I want to want to put up a tree and enjoy giving gifts and having family come to visit. I really do.
Perhaps I need to adopt the ‘JUST DO IT’ slogan. Maybe next year will be different.
